When dreaming one day becoming a parent, doing it alone is rarely in your mind. Most are part of a dream of raising a family with a beloved partner in life. But, life happens.. Sometimes you become a single parent before the child is born, sometimes after the child is here and part of your life, neither is an easy route. Being a parent is hard with both parents involved, but being a single parent….thats is a whole other ball game. I entered this club I never dreamed of having membership in well over a year now……and I am still learning to navigate it. Many days I feel less than. I feel like I’m not enough for my kids, im not doing enough, showing up enough, providing enough…….like I’m a failure as a mom. And before you come at me telling me thats just silly and its wrong, while I appreciate it, know it doesn’t change how I feel. Many times, once the kids are in bed sleeping, I go over the days events…….especially if there has been a disagreement between myself and one or both kids……and I cry. I play everything back, every action, every word, and I sit there and sob. I don’t say this for pity, I say this to be honest. Because I know I am NOT the only one who feels this way. There is no handbook for parenthood, especially for single parents……single parents to young teens who have been through unimaginable trauma and carry hard anger. Working through that is a CHALLENGE to put it mildly. And if you notice I continue to say single parent, not single mom. So much emphasis is put on someone being a single mom, and all her trials and hardships……..but what about the single dads out there going through the same trials and hardships but still doing everything to make sure their kids are loved and cared for…..they shoulder the same burden. Moms and dads….we are in this together. BUT……..the old saying, it takes a village……..that is TRUTH!!! And though I did NOT dream of becoming a single parent….God has blessed me beyond measure with not only a village but the right village. There are people in my village now that to be honest, I did not consider family a year ago, and now they are precious to me and mine. Of course the top of my village is my two wonderful parents. Single parenthood, it doesn’t have to stay single. It’s ok to accept help. It’s ok to allow others to help love on and redirect your kiddos…..it’s NEEDED.
And more than this, we have a Heavenly Father…..one who reminds us that He carries us through these times……that these hard battles do NOT belong to us, but to Him…..and He will fight them and overcome them if we just let go and let Him. As a parent, to hand over control of your kiddos to someone else……thats not even an option to be considered. But that is exactly what He wants us to do….hand them to Him….and watch how He cares, keeps them safe, breaks down their walls of anger, and grows them as only He can. Letting go control is hard and scary but…….but when we truly let go and let God…….oh the wonderful change we will see. Keeping my kiddos plugged into church has created a much bigger family for them than I ever could imagine. The amount of people that love my kids…….it is humbling. And I can never thank each one of you enough. I pray over my kiddos every day. I pray God keep them safe, keep them happy, open their young minds to their education and to help them make right choices. But until I allow God to take over, the battle is never won. Does it make the road easier, no….but the load will be lighter.
I have said many times there is no handbook for being a parent, even stated it in this blog……but thats not completely true. Gods word is the ultimate handbook.
Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from them.” Basically saying that we are to continue to pour into them and one day they will remember that training and turn back to it.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 states “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and you get up.” Basically keep God in your home, in your heart, in your life and teach to your children.
I know my kiddos are not fond of Proverbs 29:17, but it is there in black and white……… “ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace, and they will bring you the delights you desire.” Well……I will say this…..I’m still waiting on that peace to be brought HAHA. But just as God will discipline us because He loves us so much and wants us to do right and follow His commandments, so are we as parents. We discipline and correct our children when they do wrong because we love them and want them to do better.
I could continue you on, and if you would like to know more scriptures just reach out and I’m happy to share. But I felt like this blog post was needed……for me today mainly. As a reminder that I may feel like a failure but God tells me otherwise. My kids are healthy, they have a roof over their heads, their own rooms with beds, clothes, food, and an entire extended family that loves them. I’m one blessed momma, and we all need that reminder from time to time. So just breath, know you are enough, and know its more than ok to relinquish control and allow God to carry this. He will be the one to send that village……..and boy that village is a blessing. ❤️
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